How I accidentally found yoga
Maybe some of this will resonate with some of you. The short long, how I accidentally fell into yoga.
I found yoga casually in my late teens. I liked the way it sounded out loud to say I “did yoga” and had interests in fitness and being strong in my body. At that time, I’d leave before savasana. Number one, because it was boring to me (I was fiery). Number two, I wasn’t capable of holding the bouts of peace that would drift in sometimes. I thought I’d lose my mind, fall into the centre of the earth and primal scream in the middle of the Lethbridge Fitness Club. So I avoided savasana like a 1000 piece puzzle. Woof. In hindsight, giving myself to the path of yoga at that time was too big to touch and I wasn’t ready. The fruit wasn’t ripe for picking. One teacher of mine says, you’re never ready till you’re ready. And when you’re ready it’s perfect timing.
I found yoga with devotion & discipline when my beautiful son was 7 years old. For some mothers and certainly in my case, these pockets of time started to open up more and more like clouds in the sky as he got older. I found yoga seriously when my heart had been moulded into that of a mother. I woke up one day and realized I could choose to buy into the culture of drinking wine to cope with having a family or I could go against that lie I’d bought into and do something different. I thought maybe I could try this hot yoga thing that had been crescendo whispering my name for 18 months. (I even changed my passwords to yogini2012 in 2011). I tiptoed around their website waiting for the right day to get my intro package, combing through every excuse in my head as to why this practice was selfish and nuts. One August afternoon, I stepped onto that mat, and I was ready. My first discipline was Bikram Yoga, aka 26&2. It was revolutionary to be scripted and cued through 90 minutes where I didn’t have to make a decision in the world. As a mother and a householder, the world weight lifted of my obsessively controlling shoulders the first time. I burned through 300 classes my first year. I took my first yoga teacher training 9 months after my daily practice began.
In hindsight, I’m half certain and half wonder if deep down I knew the path would overtake that present definition of reality. Everything changed. Everything upended. It was perfect.
The ability to hold and sit with peace is one of my proudest superpowers because I vividly remember being that terrified, anxious, unlovable 19 year old ditching savasana. And I am absolutely positive that if I can find peace or benefit from this breath based movement, anyone can.
TL:DR Like all of the best things and miracles in my life, it happened by “accident”, happenstance, ignorance, t-boned. Shrouded in a veil of surprise, knowingness, truth, love.